Paying the Price

Hello. Yes you.
I know I have a huge ego and my priorities have changed too. I had options and I made a choice. An year back if you had asked me what I wanted to do next, like any other engineering student, I would still say that I want to work for a couple of years and then pursue Master’s in Business Administration and finally end up managing someone else’s business for the next 40 years of my life. Till date I have utmost respect for every person having this degree and working in corporate. But was I born to end up there? No! It didn’t go as planned and I’m happy. For me, it would have been a life full of compromises. I could not settle for a designation. Compromising on my dreams. A so called “security” and a schedule. So I will say a no to you if I can’t relate to you. You call it ego or ignorance. Today I am “investing” time rather than spending it because now I have a fair idea about where all of this is going. I felt a need to change my life – for good. Time is always right for a change. Was it painful? Indeed. But being stuck in a place I don’t belong would have been more painful. “You weren’t like this before. You have changed!” Its not being forced. I see something which makes my life valuable and worth living . So today I’m not successful. Some know what I want to achieve. Some believe that I will do it. But sometimes I’m also the only one who believes in it! But you know what? I don’t care.
So you love me only if I’m successful? You love my success and not me. Sorry but I don’t take you seriously.
Money is relative. The more money I have, the more relatives I have – been there, experienced that!  As a girl, relationships are a major part of my life. But I don’t really care about all the Emo-Crap . You know why? Because I’m paying the price.
The last 1 year – I talked myself out of it. I felt pain. I cried. And this “Believe in yourself ” crap also came in a million times. But this is the price I need to pay for my sweet success. I’m glad I chose a roller-coaster life instead of a toy train journey.
Money is not good or bad. People who have money are either good or bad. Money is not everything but it is very important. My designation will not pay for any medical bills right! But is it all about that? How does it feel to get “Zoned-out” ? It’s that feeling you get when you are lost listening to your favorite song, seeing something magical after a long journey, a midnight drive all by yourself. It’s peaceful and though not everything is perfect, you are still happy. I know what I’m nearing. There is a closed window and I’m running to open that window to feel the wind play with my hair.
I saw this brilliant movie recently – The Wolf of Wall Street. He has hell lot of passion and even starts making some big bucks. It is for people who want to take some chances and make it to the top – with style. The movie has Panache!
“There’s no nobility in poverty. I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor, and I choose rich every time. At least as a rich man, when I have to face my problems, I can show up in the back of a stretch limousine, wearing a two-thousand-dollar suit and a twenty-thousand-dollar gold watch!” – Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street
I am with people who inspire me, pull me up and push me to raise the bar higher. When I am with them, I might hear something which can turn out to be the most needed advice for me. It can have some deep meaning which can give me that “click”.
“The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it” – Now you know why I am paying the price! Sorry Broo..I’m audacious and I’m just too busy working on my goals. I am not ready to compromise with my dreams. Yes, you have time to criticize me because you got scared and f**king gave up on yours! Good luck anyways.
And for all of you wondering why all this – live simply, love unconditionally and dream big! =))

CHANGE

When I look back and think about those days, I wonder how I alone could be this lucky. The answer I get is simple – I was open for CHANGE. I am ready to take myself to that point B in life I have always dreamt of. Though born in a middle class family, I had a silver spoon in my mouth. I lived most of my life in a protective shell. This shell gave me comfort and happiness. My dad is my hero and he keeps me safe and protected. But I never knew magic would strike when I break the shell and come out – experiencing a life of no fear and inhibitions and filled with passion. For some made up reason, he still calls me twice a day and we talk. Those few minutes of pampering – pure bliss.
I have heard this example of a fish growing only up to the size of its tank. When the fish is kept in a bowl, it remains small. In a tank, it grows bigger. In the sea, it develops to its best. The mind is exactly like that !
I made a to-do list while growing up and pasted it on my wardrobe. Few years later, I made a bucket list with all that I wanted to do in my life. Today when I compare the two, I just laugh out loud. The one I wrote first was clearly the list of things I wanted to do in this life but the second one was what I think I could do in this life. The fish tank became smaller as I grew because .. Oh come on ! Like all this is ever going to happen !
Today when I look at those child-like dreams , I say “Why not?!”
Happiness for me is being inspired. Nothing can stop me then. Today at every point of time I’m inspired, happy and I believe that it will happen. Yes I’m on a high. Today happiness for me is reading Calvin and Hobbes all day in my room and shopping in Rodeo Drive. I’m not paying $650 to dream about the Louis Vuitton bag!
“Ask . Believe . Receive”
This has become my mantra .
One of the Biggest lessons learnt in life is to shed my inhibitions. After a lot of observations and analysis, I have concluded that if I have to be successful, I cannot be sophisticated. I need to be crazyy!! I know that the magic will not happen till I go all out and make it happen. And I love it ! I also believe that my dear God will never give me a problem that I cannot handle. So yaake fear?
A person very near and dear to me once told me that there are only 2 important days in a man’s life – the day he is born and the day he knows why he was born. I recently got to know mine and no one could stop me after that. Since then I live this way – High on life !
Today I’m a dreamer and I’m passionate about my dreams. Passion for me is a peg of hunger with a pinch of anger. As long as I have this combo in place , nothing can stop me. This passion is making me do EVERYTHING and helping me tick my dreams. The journey ahead is not easy but I’m excited . I’m excited because I know the end result and I know that I’m not going to stop till I achieve it. Sounds like Me !

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